The Blitz
by x-lady-lestat-x
Summary: Parts 1 through 3 of my sequel to Mutation. I'm basically just trying to setup the story before the plot and get people where I need them. Lots of recapping, but if you liked Mutation this will be up your alley in the Xander torturing genre.
1. Man vs Beast

-1This is the 1st part of the sequel to "Mutation." A lot of this is just recapping what happened in "Mutation" and is moving the story towards the new plot.

Thursday

Xander sat silently in the small padded room, his arms and legs tethered to the wall by leather straps and steel chains. The walls were so white that they seemed to glow despite the overhead light being filtered through a protective wire screen. He knew something was about to happen…

The thick metal door opened to a pitch black abyss. Not even the light above him allowed anything beyond the doorframe to be seen.

Xander watched as a dimly-lit, but obviously pale, girl materialized several paces outside the room.

She stood on the nonexistent floor for a moment before moving towards the room, practically floating. Finally, she took a step into the room, the light revealing both her identity and her plight: she was the girl Xander had killed in December and she looked very much like she had when she died. On the left side of her neck was the apparent cause; there was a bite-shaped, bloodless mark with slightly shredded edges and a purplish bruise.

Xander was scared, but he stood. "I-I'm sorry," he said honestly. "I didn't mean to do it."

The girl smiled but her gaze seemed to be drilling into him. "If you'd have just lasted another five minutes, I'd be graduating from high school next month," she spat back at him. "You deserve to die. A witch can't change the fact that you're a murdered; even becoming human again won't change that. If that spell is broken before you get a cure, you'll just kill more people the way you killed me…"

The girl stepped aside, and the hall outside brightened, revealing a new room.

Xander was looking into the living room at Giles' flat, just as it had been before Giles returned to England. Buffy, Willow, Dawn, Anya, Giles, and even Tara were all talking happily, but Xander couldn't hear the words, only what sounded like several different sets of drums all beating in the same rhythm but at different moments.

"One second without that magic and you'll tear them apart," the girl emphasized again, glaring at him.

Xander could feel the fangs in his mouth and the chains began to fade as his fingernails sharpened to claws. "No," he said quickly, looking at his hands. "The spell is still working; this can't be real," he continued, beginning to panic as he turned to the girl. He pressed his back against the wall, staring with reflective, golden eyes at his friends socializing in the next room. He felt compelled to run in there and attack them; he could practically smell their blood from where he stood…

"You know that a big part of you wanted to kill me, and you even enjoyed it," the girl continued to taunt. "The same part is even stronger now than it was when you killed me, and it will let you kill them all in the end," she added with a nod to the other room.

Xander couldn't hold back any more. He ran into the other room and roughly grabbed the closest of them from behind, sinking his teeth into their neck….

Xander woke suddenly in a cold sweat with his heart racing. He was in his own bedroom in his Sunnydale apartment, and his friends were safe. He sat up quickly and put his feet on the carpet, taking a few deep breaths to try to calm himself. It wasn't the first time he'd dreamed about the girl he'd killed, nor was it the first time he worried about hurting his friends. He'd even seen himself killing his friends more than once, but seldom in the last five months had those factors combined into one grand nightmare.

He looked over at the clock. It was only 1:48 pm but he felt rested, despite the dream waking him. He'd gotten in the habit of getting up around 4 pm but with the sun rising earlier he was getting to bed a little too early to excuse the schedule.

Still groggy but not willing to shut his eyes again, he began to think back to everything that happened in December… He'd been kidnapped by a group of vampire scientists who were trying to engineer the perfect vampire. They'd injected him with drugs, chemicals, and other things he knew little about. Eventually they'd successfully transformed his body into a hybrid of vampire, human, and various demons whose traits could be beneficial to their cause. When his friends found him, he was still human enough to control himself. After being re-captured the following evening, and disfigured even more, his mind was too mixed up to instinctively know the difference between right and wrong. He could, however, control the change in his appearance between his human and demon forms, hiding the gnarled claws and sharp teeth when he wished. Sunlight was also less of a problem than it had been before his second visit to the scientists. Unfortunately, he was about to find that his need and desire for blood had increased substantially.

The scientists had locked him in a padded room with the girl he'd just seen in his dream and were trying to see if he would kill her for her blood. That morning, at the very moment his friends were implementing their plan of rescue, Xander succumbed to his urges and grabbed onto the girl, draining the blood from her neck with his sharpened teeth.

After sleeping for a while at the motel, he realized how much he was still being changed by the chemicals coursing through his system. Willow, his best friend, cast a spell meant to help humans overcome their addictions. As a happy side-effect, all Xander's demonic features and impulses were masked completely. As the spell worked into the afternoon, Xander continued to feel more and more human. The spell could be broken by only by himself, but if it was ever broken it could never be cast upon him again for the same addiction.

That night, hopeful that a true cure may exist for Xander's condition, they decided to attack the scientist's hideout, but ended up in a trap: the door locked behind them with four other test subjects still locked in their cells, and two vampire women left behind as an intended blood supplement for Xander. With the building rigged to disrupt magic, the spell Willow had placed on Xander was being blocked. An automated recording explained that there were only four doses of a cure that would return the _five_ patients to their human form; it was known to work on the four creatures left behind but had not been tested on hybrids such as Xander. To make the potion, they had to collect the chemical ingredients from each of the remaining patient's rooms. At noon the following morning, the door would unlock and magic could again be used within the bulding.

Xander, almost stronger than Buffy, had volunteered to preoccupy the inhabitant of the cells as they gathered the boxes from each of the rooms. Three of the patients were feral but one still acted very human; her name was Tess, and after being let out of her cage she continued to assist her rescuers.

After gathering three of the four ingredients, they entered the last cell expecting things to go as smoothly as they had been. Lee, the occupant of the cell, had been given a wooden chair leg as a weapon and he gleefully took the chance to surprise the intruders; he ran the thick shaft through Xander's chest. Retreating without their ingredient, Xander's blood loss rendered him unconscious and allowed his instincts to briefly take full control. He'd nearly killed Buffy after he'd thrown Spike down a hall, and as he left the corridor he'd also come close to letting himself bite Willow before regaining his senses.

Still in need of blood, he realized his only option was to take the blood from the two vampire women the scientists had left behind. Locked in a room with them, he allowed his body and mind to hunt in the barbaric way it desired.

With renewed strength, and a growing guilt over how much he'd enjoyed killing the vampires, he and Buffy returned to the last room and successfully retrieved the final supplies.

Fearing that this combination may actually be poison, they decided to administer Tess's dose after the others had recovered. The combined chemicals effectively created a cure for the other patients, but delivering the required injection was proving more difficult. Lee was the first to get the cure, running out of the building in a daze as his body transformed back into its entirely human form. Stephen, the other male patient, struggled more than expected when he received the shot. He ended up stabbing Xander with the needle containing a small portion of the formula.

The effects on Xander could be interpreted as successful in that less of his system was being polluted with demonic DNA, but the actual results were less than desirable. Willow assessed the effects and found that Xander could no longer change his form to look human, and demonic personality traits that remained were amongst the most dangerous ones added to the Scientist's mixture of demons.

While Stephen, Olivia, and Tess were recovering from their part of the cure, Willow and the others orchestrated a plan to contact their police friend, Andy, while leaving the demonic information out of the kidnapping investigation. By the time the police, social-workers, and medics arrived, they had all agreed upon the same story.

When Xander woke up that night, his friends were arranging the trip back to Sunnydale. Seeking closure, and wanting to help the only one of the vampire's experiments who didn't to receive a cure, Tess was set to accompany them wherever they went until Xander had been turned back into a human.

Before finally leaving the hotel room, he made Willow promise never to lift the spell she'd cast on him. He never wanted to look or feel like a demon again, even if it meant he would die. On Christmas Eve, Willow reluctantly agreed that if anything happened to him, he "…won't be stuck as that monster."

Tess quietly knocked on the door. "Xander? I heard you yelling… Are you awake?"

"Yeah," he called. "I'm up."

She opened the door and stepped inside. She was still in her pajamas. When she realized she may be in Sunnydale for a while, she enrolled in a few afternoon classes at U.C. Sunnydale. Given the town's reputation, she was always sure to be somewhere safe before it got too dark. Today she didn't need to leave until 3:15 pm, and, even better, her second class had been canceled so she'd be home before 6 pm. She'd only been up about an hour. "Was it another nightmare?"

He nodded a little. He'd shared a few of his nightmares with her, usually only when she woke up after a particularly violent one of her own about the man _she'd_ killed. When _he_ woke up from one, he felt no desire to tell it to anyone about it for quite a while.

"Do you need to go back to sleep?"

He glanced at the clock again: 1:53 PM. He'd successfully organized a night shift at the construction site, and he didn't need to be there until around 7 pm tonight. "I don't think I could get back to sleep if I wanted," he admitted, not wanting to risk another nightmare.

"Well, if you're interested, I made some coffee and there's still some eggs in the pan," she added, closing the door.

Xander sighed. Balford demons were incapable of staying awake during the day. That breed had been one of several demons his DNA had been mixed with, and that trait had been making it difficult for him to stay awake between sunrise and sunset. The magic Willow had used so many months ago seemed to be working better than ever: it was masking the harmless traits as well as it was masking the deadly ones.

Xander stood, ready to get dressed and prepare for the evening, but quickly felt lightheaded and was forced to sit again.

The few times he'd gotten up before sunset he'd been struck with the same sensation. He'd mentioned this to Willow and they realized that if he tries to stay awake during the day, he has more hunger symptoms despite the spell. She explained that, "Trying to keep his body functioning when its processes were slowed down for rest will mean that you need more nutrients to stimulate your system." This meant, simply, that if he wanted to do something other than sleep during the day, he'd need to drink more blood.

This dizziness discouraged him a little. The spell seemed to be _helping_ him stay awake more comfortably, but it hadn't completely wiped out his need for blood. Even when he woke up at sunset, he still needed to start the evening with a package of blood, but after the single package he could eat and drink normally until the next evening's infusion.

The spell had, however, effectively brought him closer to being human in several _other_ ways. Sunlight wasn't as painful as it had been at first. If he covered most of his skin and protected the rest with sunscreen, he found he could go outside during the day for quite a while before feeling too warm. Even with bare skin he could tolerate direct light for several minutes at a time. Also, but possibly for the worst, his ability to heal quickly had been almost completely masked by the magic. A few weeks earlier he'd gotten a cut on his arm from some metal at his construction site and it was at least five days before the mark had completely disappeared.

He tried to stand again, this time very slowly, and was easily able to find his balance. Walking slowly to the closet, he found his robe, slid it on, and went into the other room. He didn't want to risk any sort of fainting spell in the next few minutes so he figured getting his dose of _nutrients _out of the way would be for the best.

Tess was on the couch with her back to the partly un-covered window. She held her cup of coffee, but the empty breakfast plate on the table in front of her. She was flipping through the channels with the remote. "There's never anything on at this time of the day," she complained, turning to him with a smile.

Xander went into the kitchen, grabbed a large, green plastic cup from the cupboard, and took a bag of blood from the refrigerator. Aside from the time of the evening when he preparing that drink, he was in good cheer. At times he'd actually managed to forget his unusual situation, and feel completely like the person he'd always been. He glanced at her with a small smile, and then continued with his task. Grabbing his usual pair of scissors, he snipped the edge and poured the bag into the cup.

"There's always 'Passions' in a few minutes, but with all the real magic in this town the stories on that show seem a little _out there_," she continued more seriously, still watching him. Since he usually didn't wake up until after she'd left for school, it had been a while since they'd had an afternoon in the same room together.

Xander threw the empty bag in the trash and picked up the cup, drinking quite a bit of it in his first swig. The texture put him off, but there was absolutely no taste or smell to what was inside the cup. He felt better right away, but couldn't help thinking about the nightmare.

The phone started to ring.

Xander left his cup on the counter and answered it. "Hello?"

"Harris? It's Dan and I'm down at the site," the man explained.

"Everything ok?" he asked quickly.

Dan sighed. "I have an emergency at home and wanted to see if you could cover for me."

Xander thought a moment. It was the first time he'd been up this early, so he wasn't sure exactly how he'd be feeling in the six hours leading to sunset. On the other hand, Dan was his boss and the pay for a half a day at a higher position would make doing this more than worth his while.

"I know you work tonight, but your paycheck will reflect it. Besides, the job's mostly gonna be sitting in my office to take calls. There's only a few things left for me to do on the site, but that won't be until the end of the shift."

"Sure," Xander said finally. "But I really just got out of bed so it'll be about an hour before I get there."

"That'll be fine," Dan said quickly with obvious relief in his voice. "I'll make a little list of what really needs to get done, but they'll be ok here for a while. Thank you."

"I hope everything's alright with your family. And _thank you_ for the opportunity."

"Try to have a good night." Dan hung up the phone, and then Xander did the same.

"Who was that?" Tess asked from the couch.

Xander went back to the cup and began drinking it again. "My boss needs me to take over for him until the end of this shift."

Tess was a little nervous. "Are you sure you can stay outside so long?"

Xander shrugged. "He said I'll be in his trailer most of the time." He finished the contents of the cup.

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3:15 PM -- Construction Site

Xander parked his car and began to walk onto the construction site. He had on a long-sleeved flannel shirt buttoned to his chin, work gloves, a baseball cap, sunglasses, and a layer of sunscreen on his face.

"Hey, Xander," Mark greeted from the shade as he sipped on a can of cola. "It's been a while since I've seen you on the day shift."

Xander nodded a little.

"But you're the one covering for Dan today?" Justin, another worker, asked.

"Yes. If you have any problems, just take them to me," he offered cheerfully.

"Then it's good you're here," Justin continued. "We're having some problems with the crane."

Xander took off his cap and put on the hardhat, ready to work.

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5:20 PM -- Xander's Apartment

The phone began to ring.

Tess was walking down the hall towards the front door as she heard the sound. She put her key in the door, and quickly rushed inside, dropping her bag as she picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Tess?" Willow asked. "Aren't you usually in class?"

Tess smiled a little. "One was canceled and the other cut short."

"Well, is Xander up yet? We have a _really _good lead in Chicago," Willow said excitedly. "Three John Does in the last three nights. The last one was found just twenty minutes ago, and all in the vicinity of one hospital."

"He's at the construction site already," Tess explained, closing the door and moving her backpack onto the couch. She continued to relay what had happened before she'd left for school.

"In that case, you can start packing your suitcase while we track down Xander. We're aiming for the 1 am flight, so we have a few hours to cancel or reschedule whatever we have planned tomorrow," Willow explained. "See ya later."

"See ya," Tess said cheerfully, hanging up the phone.

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5:40 PM -- Xander's Apartment

The phone began to ring again.

Tess came out of her room and answered it. "Hello?"

"There was some kind of accident," Willow said quickly, her voice very urgent. "The paramedics are just on their way now, and we're almost to your apartment to pick you up and go over there."

"Oh my God," Tess said. "Is he ok?"

"We don't know. They didn't tell us anything, just that there was an accident and that Xander was involved… We're pulling into your parking lot now; hurry outside and we'll go to the site together."

Tess dropped the phone back to the charger, grabbed her keys, and ran out the door for the car.

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5:55 PM -- Construction site

There were three ambulances and two fire trucks. Speeding all the way, they slammed on the breaks as they pulled in beside one of the ambulances. Everyone poured out of the vehicle and ran towards the small crowd. They were shocked by the extent of the damage.

The three story office building they'd been building was halfway fallen in upon itself. The crane rested in the middle of the building, obviously the thing that had caused the collapse. Two people were being strapped to backboards, and the firemen were still combing through the debris

"What happened?" Buffy demanded to the crowd as they took in the gnarled scene. "And is anyone still in there? Is _Xander Harris_ still in there?"

Mark recognized Buffy as one of Xander's friends and approached the newcomers quickly. He had an icepack held against his shoulder. "Xander was inside, pointing out the next step on the blueprints, the way Dan was gonna do. He must have seen the crane coming. The thing wasn't working right a few hours ago. It was supposed to be moving things from over there to over there…" He pointed using his ice pack towards the two places at the far side of the crane. "It shouldn't have been anywhere near the building, especially not with the full load."

"B-But Xander…?" Tess asked fearfully.

"He spotted it, then yelled and pushed everyone out. I was near the exit, but with Phil in the building Xander went deeper in after him." He pointed to where the top of the crane rested. "It hit a support and the whole thing came down… Xander saved at least six of us from getting more than bumps and the two going to the hospital just have a few broken bones. Xander and Phil are still missing."

Buffy rushed into the scene and began pulling large pieces of metal out of the way.

"Excuse me, Miss, but you should just wait back there," one of the firemen said nervously. She was doing an extraordinary job of clearing the metal away, better than several fellow rescuers. "The building may not be secure."

She ignored him, looking back to Mark. "How far in was Xander when it caved in?"

"Maybe ten feet in front of you," Mark shouted back. "But the other guy's right; with one of the main supports gone the rest might fall in if you keep digging that aggressively."

Buffy looked at the fireman very seriously. "I've done search and rescue before and I can move just about anything that's on top of my friend. If we're going to find him alive, we need to find him fast. What can anyone do to make it safer for me to keep going?"

Mark quickly crossed the safety line, ready to advise. "Think of it like a puzzle: look at everything the metal is touching before you move it even a little." He looked back to the crowd of workers. "Everyone who's willing should grab a hardhat and give these people a hand."

The firefighter looked concerned. "I can't allow everyone in here. This place is just too unstable"

Mark amended his announcement. "There is a risk, but two men may still be alive in there."

About seven men came out of the group with their hardhats on, ready to do what they had to so they could uncover their two coworkers.

"We built it, and we move this stuff around for a living," one of the workers explained to reassure the fireman.

The fireman finally nodded. "The rest of us will be around the back of the building. We're not exactly sure how far inside Philip Watkins was, but he was putting on some paneling near the rear."

Willow sat down on the ground, doing what she could to calm herself. She posed in a meditative position, her back straight.

"What are you doing?" Tess asked quickly.

Willow sighed. "If I can focus, I might be able to sense where both of them have been buried." She took a deep breath again and let it out slowly.

Dawn rushed over to where there were extra hardhats and pulled two small ones off the hooks. She put one on and hurried to Buffy, giving her a hat for protection.

Everyone began sifting through the rubble, creating a human chain to clear everything out of the way safely.

Willow opened her eyes suddenly, her eyes clouded white. She looked into the rubble as though looking through twilight. There were two human-shaped, golden lights, like beacons in the dim, marking the locations of the two men who were still alive. Willow jumped to her feet and ran into the scene, rushing past the other people and stopping just a foot in front of Buffy to dig in the same area Buffy had been.

Tess followed quickly.

"Here!" Willow announced, squatting as she pulled a few more things out of the way. As she looked into the shallow pile, she could see the Xander's outline, face down, buried about a foot under the mess.

Buffy began to dig a little more quickly where Willow suggested.

Willow hurried outside again, circling around to the back of the building. She could see the other light, but it was fading a little. Joining the firefighters, she continued past them and to the left. "He's over here," Willow announced to them. "About two feet under, but he's still alive."

"How do you…?" another fireman began to ask, but when he saw her eyes, he stopped, joining Willow and beginning to dig in the spot.

"We need a paramedic!" Buffy shouted out of the building.

Willow blinked a few times, allowing the trance to fade as she rushed back to Xander's position.

He'd been completely uncovered, but obviously injured badly. There were a few shafts of metal sticking out of his body: one thick bar wan through the right side of his back, another smaller one through his left arm, and another in his right lower back. It was hard to tell exactly where the blood was coming from because his shirt was soaked with it in several places. His hat had been knocked from his head and his scalp was bloody from at least one good whack.

"Xander!" Willow cried, going to his side.

All the construction workers moved out of the building to allow the medics more room.

Two medics began assessing the injuries and preparing him for transport.

"He's lost a lot of blood," the female medic commented.

"And he's sort of anemic," Willow added. "He really needs a transfusion." She realized that with the sun being up, he might have had even less blood being circulated than what was healthy, but a transfusion may also help him speed the healing. Even with her spell on him, she hoped his healing ability would be sped by more blood.

"We realize that, Miss," the male medic said, digging in his bad. He pulled out a neck brace and carefully stabilized his neck.

A third medic, a tall man, arrived with a back-brace.

"Xander?" Willow called softly, touching his hand.

He didn't stir at all.

The men carefully slid him onto the stable surface as the woman prepared a package of O-Negative blood. She cut Xander's sleeve and pulled off the glove so she could hit the vein. They couldn't pull out the shrapnel until they were in the emergency room, so they began to carry him out of the building and to the rig.

The men began to secure him in the rig as the woman quickly explained to Buffy's group what was going on.

"His pulse is good; better now than he was before the transfusion started. He'll be in the ER, but you can follow us in your car." Before the group could pose other questions, the medic joined the others in the back of the ambulance and shut the door.

Buffy's friends took off the hard hats, leaving them in a pile as they rushed into the car and followed their friend.

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	2. Calmer Heads

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6:50 PM -- Room 202 in ICU

Xander's eyes were closed ad he hadn't woken up from the sedation yet. The people in the ER had removed the metal, treated a collapsed lung, and given him four pints of blood. They'd bandaged his head to stop the gash from bleeding, but he had a severe concussion. He was waiting for the next operating room to open for them to repair internal bleeding and several broken ribs. There was supposed to be a room opening in thirty minutes. His breathing and pressure were stable without a ventilator, but the doctors had explained that the prognosis wasn't good because several of his organs were probably damaged from the force of the debris.

Buffy and Willow were allowed to stay with him, and the doctors had told them what was happening. Both girls were in shock. Buffy sat beside his bed while Willow paced at the foot of it. Xander was propped up a little by the mechanical bed, but he hadn't been conscious at all since they'd rescued him from the rubble.

"I-Is there any way for _you _to break the spell?" Buffy asked Willow finally. It had been running through her mind since they'd found out he was trapped. If the spell hadn't been on him when the building fell, he could have probably dug himself out. Now, with such a grave prognosis, it seemed the only way to save his life.

Willow shook her head. "Xander's the only one who can break the spell. The whole point of the magic is that someone willingly wanted to recover from an addiction, so only they can willingly give…"

"There must be something we can do for him," Buffy interrupted.. "He's too out of it!"

"No, I'm not," Xander mumbled at a whispered. "But I guess that really depends on what happened to me."

Buffy stood and Willow joined her.

"Oh, God, are you okay?" Willow asked.

"Spinning," Xander said a little more audibly. He looked around the room a little. "Hospital?"

Buffy bent down and gently gave him a hug.

He was a little surprised by the action, and even with her being careful, everyplace she touched was in pain. It was even hurting for him to breathe.

"You were at work, and there was an accident with the crane," Willow sobbed. She'd promised herself not to break down, but he was in such serious trouble that she couldn't hold back. She bent down just as Buffy had and hugged him. He was obviously in pain, so she pulled away quickly.

"Long story short," Buffy began since Willow was having a hard time, "you saw a crane about to crash into the building and saved most of your crew. You went farther inside the building to warn someone else, and the building collapsed."

Xander nodded a little. "Did Phil make it?"

The girls had grave expressions.

"He's in a coma," Buffy finally answered. "He was less banged up than you, but had worse head injuries. If he wakes up he'll be fine."

Xander smiled a little, glad that Phil had made it out alive. He raised his uninjured hand to his head and felt the bandage. His arm felt like it was weighed down by bricks. He let it drop back to the bed as he turned his head and saw his left arm bandaged and IV sticking out from under the bandage. "What about me?" Most of his abdomen hurt, and he felt weaker than he could ever remember feeling.

Willow started to sob again. She grabbed a Kleenex and wiped her nose, trying to hide how she'd just reacted.

"That bad?" Xander asked quietly

"Well, n-not too good," Buffy confessed slowly. "They're taking you to the operating room as soon as the next one's available. They say you have some internal bleeding. A piece of metal went through your arm, hence the bandage there; two more went through your back… You broke a lot of ribs and one of them punctured your lung. They didn't really say much in detail about the actual surgery, other than that the force of the debris might have damaged a few of your organs."

Xander was in shock. He felt horrible, but he didn't think he was _that_ bad.

"They have you on meds for the pain," Willow continued, tears still falling. "But they're not sure if the surgeons can repair everything."

Xander sat in silent shock.

"You need to break the spell," Buffy told him.

He didn't answer. Given the choice between dying and becoming that monster again, he had a lot to think about and not much time to decide.

"We don't want to lose you," Willow added.

He was still quiet. After a few more seconds he spoke, "If I break it can you cast it on me again when I'm healed?"

Willow shook her head. "Not for the same addiction. B-But I can do a glamour to change the way you look and I've already researched a few other spells that can help you feel more like yourself."

"And I almost forgot," Buffy added quickly. "In Chicago they're having vampire problems with the same MO as _The Blitz_. We have plane tickets for a Red Eye over there tonight, so we'll be able to get the cure from them in just a few days."

Xander remained silent.

"Tess should be back any minute. She went out to grab some of my magic supplies," Willow said, calming herself. "She's gonna bring what I need for the glamour, and she's also grabbing all the crystals I made before so you wouldn't hurt any of us when the spell's gone."

"She didn't just want to wait around," Buffy said. "She said she'd feel better if she was doing something to help."

Xander nodded a little, still not giving his answer. "But if you break the spell now, how will we explain why I'm suddenly all better?"

"The glamour will take care of that, too," Willow explained.

He nodded again. "Now that we've covered all my excuses, I just don't know if I can handle this."

The girls were both a little shocked.

"If you don't try to handle this, you're going to die," Buffy said plainly.

Tess came through the door with a paper bag of supplies, including two packages of blood she'd stolen from a cart on her way up to his room. She saw that Xander was awake and immediately dropped her bag in the chair and joined the girls. "It's so great that you're awake! Now you can break the spell and we can head East and…"

"Time out," Xander interrupted. He felt a little stronger, but not by much. "I don't know if I'm going to break the spell."

Tess looked was surprised and very frightened. "But…"

"I know," he assured before she could explain.

Buffy sighed. "They'll be coming here any minute to operate."

"D-Do they think I'll survive the surgery?" Xander asked.

"You think that going through exploratory surgery and the setting of broken bones would be easier than living a couple hours without the spell?" Willow demanded.

"Probably," Xander said quietly.

"Then let me rephrase," Buffy said, allowing a little more frustration in her voice. "Is _dying_ a sane alternative to _not_ dying?"

"That's just my point. If I break the spell I _will_ be crazy and pretty much wishing to be dead," Xander said with even more sincerity. He didn't, however, want to die. "So we have a lead back in Chicago?"

"Yes, and we already know the hospital's address so we'll find them and your cure in no time," Willow said quickly.

Xander sighed, blinking a few times to refocus his eyes. The pain was getting worse which probably meant the surgery was getting closer. Moreover, he was starting to feel a little light-headed. "I'll break the spell."

All three girls were visibly relieved.

Willow had to take a moment for the consequences of breaking the spell to really sink in. When she was pressing for him to break it, all she cared about was having him agree to survive. Now, she really remembered that he'd become the anti-social, high-strung _demon_ with impulse control issues and strength that could even overpower a Slayer… And to break the spell would require Xander to commit a very un-Xander-like action while he still looked and felt human…

Tess went to the bag and brought her supplies back to the bedside. She dug into the bag and passed charms to Buffy and Willow before slipping one over her neck.

"H-How do I do that exactly?" Xander asked. He remembered the part about needing to attack someone, but didn't remember the details. "Some Latin was involved so of course I forgot it."

Willow was a little surprised that he'd forgotten it considering all that happened six months ago was too traumatizing for even her, an onlooker, to forget. "You say the words '_Solutae curae_' and then bite a person, or at least drink some blood directly from them. Human teeth tend to be blunter than the average vampire so I'd probably go with making a little cut on someone. There should be a dagger in the bag with the other stuff." She dug into the bag, pulled out the knife and handed it to Xander.

"And it really has to be a person?" Xander asked, taking the knife in his uninjured hand. It felt like it weighed a ton. His muscles didn't want to work. "Can't it just be from some package?"

Willow shook her head. "You don't have to drink very much from one of us. Since your addiction wasn't just about the taste and effects of blood, there needs to be the aggression-factor in there, too."

"You can take some of my blood," Buffy offered. "It might fix you up a little faster."

Xander blinked his eyes back into focus again. Everything kept getting blurry, and, worst of all, things had started to spin again.

"Then Tess and I will start setting up the glamour," Willow said, taking the bag with her as she sat on the floor.

Tess went over to the door and locked it, then began closing the blinds so people in the hall wouldn't be able to look in.

"Y-You're sure about this?" Xander asked quietly, his words a little garbled. Now, everything was unquestionably spinning.

Buffy slid her jacket off and dropped it to the chair, giving a sincere nod. "Anything to keep you healthy." She could tell by the expression on his face that something was getting worse, so she held out her hand. "Anywhere's fine; you know how fast I heal."

The heart monitor connected to Xander began to bleep at an uneven rhythm.

He was trying to keep his eyes open and focused, but everything was spinning so badly now that he closed his eyes.

"Xander?" Buffy called, worried again. She put her hand on his shoulder. "Xander? Stay awake."

"Spinning," Xander whispered, his eyes still closed.

The machine was still erratic.

Willow was working frantically on getting the spell ready for Xander.

Buffy saw that his hand was still gripping the dagger. She grabbed his hand so the dagger was still in his palm and aimed the dagger at her forearm. "Xander, stay with me. Say the spell," she urged. "Just say…" She looked back to Willow.

"_Solutae curae_," Willow called back.

Xander was quiet again, the monitor still not stable.

Tess looked on in terror. She wasn't a witch, so all that was left for her to do was wait.

"Just say _Solutae curae_ and I can help you with the rest," Buffy continued frantically.

"_Solutae…_" Xander mumbled. He blinked a few times, ignoring the disorienting room and how weak he felt. With the last of his strength he spoke again. "_Solutae curae_." He moved his hand a little, and with some help from Buffy the knife made a shallow cut on her arm.

Buffy pulled the knife from his hand, and placed her injured hand into his. She pulled her arm and his hand to Xander's mouth so he could hold it in place as long as he needed it.

Xander's eyes closed as he wrapped his lips around the cut and began to drink some of the warm, tasteless liquid.

Buffy began to wonder if this was working, but the results quickly became evident. His skin began to bleach, and she felt his fingers move a little against her hand as his fingernails grew longer and darkened. She then felt his growing teeth brush against her skin as she saw the tops of his ears pull themselves into small points.

Xander's ears were ringing as he pushed Buffy's hand away from his mouth. Her cut had already mended, and with the crystal around her neck he was able to break away from her. Everything seemed to be too loud and his entire body began to ache more than it had only a few seconds ago. He finally opened his eyes.

"How do you feel?" Buffy asked his, using some Kleenex to wipe the cut dry.

He blinked a few times, trying to get used to the way everything looked and sounded. It was like his insides were crawling. He looked towards Willow and her bag. "I need more." She wasn't sure how he knew, but he could just tell that there were at least two packages of blood in the bag.

Tess nodded a little and quickly dug into the bag. It had been months since she'd seen him look like that. The metallic shine in his eyes was a little unnerving, but she found the bags and handed one to him.

Xander took it in his uninjured hand, and Tess laid the second on the sheets. His muscles were working better, but there were sharp pains shooting through his chest and lungs as his body began to heal itself. He laid the first one on his sheet for a moment and he pressed the button to further erect his bed. The last thing he wanted was to stain the sheets and be forced to explain what happened. He finally picked up the package again and tore the corner with his sharp teeth.

Buffy and Tess bother turned back to Willow as Xander began to drink from the package.

"How's the spell coming?" Buffy asked her.

Willow laid a photograph of Xander in the center of the ring of candles, and gave a little nod. "It's ready."

Xander finished the first bag and was already most of the way through the second. His fears were being realized here: drinking the blood tasted and felt better than anything he'd experienced in the last six months, if not in his whole life. Just as it had before, his love of this sensation made him very frightened. The notion that he could remain the person he had always been and still take pleasure from someone else's sacrifice was something he couldn't even comprehend. He tossed the empty bags into the orange biohazard bag beside the bed.

Willow put her leftover items back into the bag and stood, looking back to Xander. "Do you think you can walk over to the candles?"

He nodded a little, and Buffy helped bring down the railing of the bed. She also helped him untangle the cords and remaining I.V. so he could leave the bed. As he stood up he felt a little dizzy, and very much like he had been hit by the building. Buffy steadied him as he pulled out the IV from under his bandage and limped over to Willow's circle.

"Wait right here," Willow told him, positioning him in the center of the ring. She began lighting the candles.

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7:20 pm Hall

Xander's surgeon, Dr. Darrel Steiner, sped down the hall with his anesthesiologist so he could meet the other surgeon. His last surgery had taken a little longer than expected, so he began looking at the x-rays as he walked. "This guy will be lucky to ever wake up again," he commented, looking at the x-ray of the skull. It was more serious than just the concussion.

They paused in the hall beside one of the lights used to examine the x-rays. The operating room was still being cleaned so they'd need to wait a few minutes.

Xander's second surgeon, Dr. Alfred Valdez, joined them at the light, examining the chest x-ray with a concerned expression. Most of the ribs on one side seemed to be broken, and the dark areas around his organs suggested severe internal bleeding

A yellow light swept past them and the bones in the x-rays seemed to shift and heal, leaving a body with only slightly cracked ribs. The three Doctors seemed to have lightened in mood.

"It's hard to believe this guy was trapped under a building," Dr. Steiner commented in a much happier tone. "I'm not sure why they asked us for a surgical consult when those ribs will heal perfectly on their own after a couple days bed-rest."

The other two doctors nodded, equally puzzled. They all proceeded down the hall towards Xander's room.

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7:25 pm -- Room 202 in ICU

Buffy and Tess were quickly gathering the last of the magical supplies and hiding them in the bag as Willow sat silently and weak in the chair.

Xander took a few steps back from where Willow had positioned him, and finally rested on the bed with his tread-socked feet on the floor. He was a little dazed by the effects of the magic. He was examining his very human-looking hands, but marveling at how easily he could still hear everything in the building.

As he ran his fingers over his blunted teeth, he pulled his finger away, a small cut on his thumb that disappeared again just as quickly. Even though his teeth didn't look sharp, it seemed that his top and bottom canine teeth were still sharp enough to cut through his skin. He tried the same thing with his fingernails. Lightly running the edge of his thumbnail across the wooden tray holder, a layer of varnish as well as a scraping of the wood, curled under his finger. He looked up at Willow. "My teeth and nails look like they used to, but why are they still so sharp?"

Willow looked at him and talked quietly. "A glamour can change the way things are perceived, but it can't actually change what they are."

"Do you think the sun…?" He paused and looked to the door suddenly. "They're coming," Xander announced quickly.

Buffy and Tess quickly stuffed the last of it inside and zipped it closed.

Dr. Steiner came inside to explain what had been found. He didn't need Dr. Valdez or the anesthesiologist to explain why they'd thought the man needed surgery.

"You should be laying down," Dr. Steiner scolded with a smile, motioning for him to get back into bed.

Xander did as instructed, his heart pounding a little faster. The doctor was the first person to come into the room since the spell had been broken. Even with the glamour cast upon him, he still _felt_ everything regardless of the fact that he no longer looked the part.

"Well, you're looking a little better," Dr. Steiner continued as he looked at the chart again. He looked up. "I'm sorry if we worried you by putting you in this intensive care room, but we were just trying to be careful considering an entire building collapsed around you." He put the chart back in its rack and picked up the blood pressure cuff, making a move to wrap it around his nearest arm.

Xander jumped a little, pulling away. His body still ached, and he knew most of the transfusions he'd been given were being rapidly exhausted to repair his injuries. He'd need more to drink, or at least another transfusion, before too long or he might not be able to hold back what he was feeling.

"This won't hurt," the doctor assured, pausing.

Xander nodded a little. It was hard for him to concentrate on forming words but he forced some out. "I don't like doctors very much. I had a bad experience just a few months ago." He offered his arm, turning away as the doctor touched him.

"We found you a bed in one of the general care wings," the doctor said as he checked the gage. He un-Velcroed the cuff and hung it back on the hook. He put on his stethoscope and listened to Xander's breathing pattern. "Your pressure is still low, and your pulse is pretty fast but that's probably just nerves. A lot of people involved in traumas have a similar reaction when they realize how close they'd just come to being killed."

Xander wasn't paying much attention. His eyes were glued on a patch of chipped paint where the ceiling met the wall. It was easier for him to think about something other than blood when he was concentrating on something.

"But you could be dehydrated," he continued.

"The paramedics worried that he might be anemic," Willow lied from the chair. "They thought he might need a transfusion."

The doctor seemed a little confused. He looked at the chart again. Finding the note, he nodded a little. It seems the pint being transfused right now was the only one he'd been given since he arrived. "Then that sounds about right…" He looked at the nearly empty pint of blood hanging from the stand, and then made another few marks on the sheet. "I'll have the nurse put up another unit as soon as he's in the new room… It should be just a few more minutes."

Xander looked back at the doctor, doing his best to maintain his concentration. Any moment he felt like he could reach out and grab the doctor. "T-Thank you," he said quietly, trying to keep up the ruse of a patient who really would have died.

"From what I heard it's your friends you have to thank," Dr. Steiner corrected. "They got to the site, organized some of the other workers, and helped you and Philip Watkins get to the hospital as fast as you did."

"Is Phil ok?" Xander asked quickly.

The nurse came into the room, ready to transport him to the other area. She began unhooking and gathering the things connecting him to the equipment of the room.

Xander was even more nervous with a second innocent person entering the room. He gripped the bar of the bed so tightly that he realized it was beginning to crumple under his strength.

"He was hurt more badly than you," Dr. Steiner began to explain slowly, thinking of how he should reveal the bad news. "He doesn't have any broken bones or really very many cuts… But he is in a coma. If he doesn't wake up in the next twelve hours, we're not sure he _will_ wake up."

He felt the railing give away. With a reverberating _shink_, a piece was left in his hand. Xander looked away from the doctor, trying to see if the nurse was ready to move the bed.

The doctor laughed a little. "I'm sorry about that. With funding being cut we're using older beds and monitors. Don't get me wrong, the patient care is still one of the best in the area."

Both the nurse and the doctor began to guide Xander's bed out of the room.

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7:45 pm -- Room 121 in the North Wing

The nurse set up another unit of blood before both she and the doctor left. On the way to the new room, the doctor explained to the group that Xander would need to stay in there overnight, and that he could leave at any time in the morning. Xander had his eyes closed, trying to not think about being trapped in a hospital overnight. Although he had used his new dislike of doctors as an _excuse _for his anxiety, he realized that his fear might have been only part of what he was feeling.

As soon as the people had left the room, Xander found it a little easier to sit quietly. "Can you find me another package I can actually drink?" he finally asked Tess after a few moments of silence.

Tess nodded and slipped out of the room.

Buffy and Willow came closer to him, stopping by his bed.

"Are you healing all right?" Willow asked.

Xander pulled off the stained bandage over his chest where the pipe had impaled him. The skin was a little pinker than the surrounding tissue, but it was hard to tell he'd been hurt at all. He nodded a little, removing the rest of the bandages.

"And your head?" Buffy asked.

He dropped the bandages into the biohazard bag beside the bed and then felt the back of his head. Even light pressure against the bandage made his head hurt. "Still pretty bad," he said quietly. He was very weak and still felt a little dizzy. Not sure how to ask this again, he decided just to say it. "Since the glamour changed the way I'm _perceived_, will sunlight sill burn me?"

Willow nodded her head. "I think so… Like with your fingernails: they look one way but that doesn't change the way they really _are_."

"Aside from the way I look, this _glamour _isn't doing much," Xander complained.

Tess opened the door and came in quickly with something hidden under the front of her shirt.

"Lock the door," Buffy suggested before she came inside any farther.

Tess did as suggested before joining them beside Xander. She pulled the packages out from under her shirt; two bags labeled O-Negative. "Wow, those were cold," she commented as she handed one to him.

Xander took it and used his teeth to tare at the corner. It occurred to him how weird it felt to open one of the packages so barbarically when he looked more human than he had since he started to need blood to survive. Eventually the bag was open and he quickly drank the tasty, satisfying red liquid. Before he really realized it, the package was empty. He quickly threw the package in the same biohazard bad and began to open and drink the second bag just as he had the first.

The girls watched him, hoping to see some positive change. Since December, they hadn't actually see him have his evening _meal_, but they all found it less off-putting than they thought it would be. Their friend had almost died tonight, so a little bit of blood seemed trivial.

The package was empty again and Xander felt his skin tingling as the fresh but chilly blood began to circulate. He turned away from his friends. He didn't like that they had to see him enjoy that so much.

"Any better?" Willow asked.

He nodded a little, tossing trash with the other empty packages.

"Do you need any more?" Tess asked him.

The pain in his head was entirely gone. He touched the bandage again and there was still no pain. Unwrapping the bandage, he shook his head. "I'm fine now."

The girls were openly relieved and happy, but Xander wasn't acting like it was good at all.

"Can you do _something_ to change the way I _feel_," he asked, finally looking back to them.

"I remember sticky-noting some pages in a few books, but I can't remember the spells off the top of my head," Willow explained.

"Then can you call the doctor back in here? I want to go back to my apartment," Xander said, still sounding grim. He wasn't feeling like attacking anyone at the moment, but with how he remembered feeling before the spell, he'd probably need more blood before sunrise. On top of that, when the sun came up he'd practically be back in a coma until sunset unless he drank even _more _blood to stay awake.

"I'll get him," Tess offered, leaving again. She was eager to help in her limited, human way. Without Slayer strength or Willow's magical power, she may as well be the one to do the mundane tasks.

Xander put the bandage into the trash and turned back to them. "You should probably tell me exactly what happened at the site. I remember seeing the crane, and then hitting the ground, but it's mostly a blur."

Buffy and Willow took turns explaining what they'd been told and what they had done to find him. They had just finished when Tess came back with Dr. Steiner.

"You'll have to do a bit of paperwork since you want to leave against medical advice," the doctor explained, handing him a clipboard with a pen. "Since you have cracked ribs, you need to really take it easy for a while. Stay in bed and don't move around too much. They'll only heal if you stay immobile."

Xander nodded as he began signing the papers. He was glad that he didn't feel as crazy around the doctor as he had before. Finished, he handed them back to the doctor.

Dr. Steiner took the clipboard. "The nurse will be back soon with some clothing, a bag with what you came here in, and some written instruction on what you need to do to get better. Have a good evening, Mr. Harris." The doctor left.

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9:25 pm -- Xander's Apartment

Xander led the way into his apartment, followed by Willow, Buffy, and Tess.

Anya was in Xander's apartment. She'd stayed away from Buffy and the others for several months. Even with her renewing love for Xander, her second time regaining mortality was enough to deter her from all things paranormal.

Spike had been told of the flight to Chicago, so was waiting with Anya for Xander and the others to get back from the hospital.

Anya quickly dove into his arms, grabbing him tightly. "You're ok!!"

Xander clumsily pushed her away, backing even farther to part them by several feet. His instincts were provoked by the simple gesture, and she was without a magical mask for her presence.

Willow came to the front of the group, stopping between Anya and Xander to announce to her and Spike everything that happened. As she spoke, she passed out the crystal pendants.

Anya put on the pendant, willing to cooperate now that they understood why Xander looked so well, but felt so poorly.

"Why do I need one of these puppies?" Spike asked as he slid the charm around his neck.

Almost instantly, Xander felt more relaxed. The sounds and scents of the room became muted as the individuals had become hidden by the crystals.

"I figured it couldn't hurt," Willow told Spike, and then she turned back to Xander. "We haven't mentioned it yet, really, but we have a good lead on the scientists. That's why we realized you were in trouble; we were going to tell you. The flight is at 1 AM, if you think you can manage on an airplane."

Xander thought a moment about the good news before deciding. He shook his head. "I can't be on a plane full of people… Not tonight, anyway." He looked to Willow. "Not unless you can make it like everyone on the plane is wearing one of those necklaces."

Willow thought for a few moments, everyone silent. She finally nodded. "Something for you to wear, rather than everyone else." She took her bag from Tess and brought it to the table to search through the supplies and books. After a moment of searching with all eyes upon her, she turned back to Xander. "It'll be a few minutes before I can find the spell. You'd better go pack a suitcase."

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10:05 pm -- Xander's Apartment

Xander returned to the living room with his suitcase ready.

Willow walked up to him with a pendent in her hand. She hesitated a moment before speaking. "This won't cover up what you're _feeling_, but it _should _keep you from wanting to do anything to anyone." She slipped it around his neck.

He didn't really feel any different. Things seemed a little quieter, overall, but as she'd said, it wasn't changing how he felt.

Willow took off her pendant.

Xander didn't feel a change; she was just as invisible to his senses as she had been moment before. He nodded a little, examining the charm. It was a pure white crystal wrapped in silver wire to create a loop for the leather cord to be strung. The core was not red, like the ones created for the others, but rather it seemed to have a cluster of small of white lights. "It's working," he finally voiced, tucking it under his shirt. "But the rest of you better keep yours handy."

Everyone took their charms off and found some pocket to store them in.

"So where did you say we're goin'?" Spike asked.

The phone began to ring.

Xander went to answer it. "Hello?"

"Xander? It's Andy," the detective began.

"Hey, Andy, what's up?" Andy Thomas was the detective who had helped Xander the first time he had escaped from the scientists in Washington. Xander wasn't sure what he would have done if Andy hadn't agreed to help him. It had been a few months since they'd spoken, but Andy agreed to phone any time there was a break in the case.

"_They_ might be back up in my area. There have been four bodies found in the last two nights, and they all had the same M.O. as when I found you; they were all clean cut but left to look like drug users," Andy explained. "And there have been more missing people in the last week than there has been in the last two months combined."

"Willow thought they might be in Chicago," Xander replied simply.

Andy was silent for a few seconds. "I think I narrowed it down to the hospital by the University this time…" he continued, almost as though he hadn't heard. "I don't really know what is happening in Chicago; I've had my hands full these last few nights with what's been going on _here_."

"You'd better just talk to Willow," Xander said finally, feeling a renewed need for a _meal_. Now that his body didn't think people were any more living than a lamp or a chair, it was easier to tell when he actually needed something more in his system. He handed Willow the phone as he went to the refrigerator.

After some debate relayed through Willow, the group agreed with Andy that Chicago could wait since his area was evidently in more need of an authority. It was possible, they realized, that there could be two different factions of _The Blitz_ trolling around the country. Since they had no way of knowing which group was the one who kidnapped Xander, they had resolved go to the place they were most needed. Willow changed the reservation on the 1 AM flight to one going North, rather than East, at nearly the same time.

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Friday 5:05 AM -- Near Tacoma, Washington; Plains Motel Room 302, Xander's Room

Xander came through the door with his suitcase in hand. This had been the room he'd stayed in the last time they'd been in Andy's town. He looked around. "At least they remodeled," he called over his shoulder, into the hall where his friends were just now opening the doors to their rooms. The last time he'd stayed in that room, he'd torn it apart pretty badly.

Willow, Buffy, and Dawn were in the room next door, the very one they'd had before; number 305. Spike and Anya, both hoping to somewhat distance themselves from the others, reluctantly decided they would best be suited as roommates across the hall from Xander in room 304.

Flying always made him a little jittery but now that he'd been on the ground for almost an hour, Xander realized that he was really feeling ill due to hunger. Without his instincts so easily stimulated, the seven hours since his last meal seemed to go more smoothly than before, but that didn't change what his body still needed. Even without sensing anything nearby to attack, his mind still raced and the adrenaline made his muscles a little shaky. He sat down on the bed. Anya and Tess had finished unpacking, and left right away to go_ shopping_ for both Xander and Spike. With less than an hour until sunrise, he hoped they'd be back sooner rather than later. He put his hands in his face and bent over, muttering to himself. "You two better hurry up…"

"They should be back pretty soon," Willow said, cheerfully coming into the doorway.

He didn't answer, acting more like he hadn't heard her. His palms were clammy and his head ached a little.

She could tell that he didn't seem to be as optimistic as she was. "I fell asleep right after take off, so I didn't really see how you were handling the flight. Was everything all right?"

He nodded a little, still not feeling well enough to talk. It still horrified him when he ran the numbers through his head. In less than 12 hours he'd consumed six packages of blood, and been transfused with even more than that. Now, he felt like he needed even _more_.

Willow wasn't satisfied. She came inside and joined him on the bed. "Are you just hungry, or is there something else on your mind."

Xander laughed a little. Violence, or rather ways to avoid violence, had been just about the only thing on his mind this evening. He had too much energy and all he'd been doing was sitting still. Now that he considered the question, he realized he was a little concerned with what they were going to do that evening. "I can't say I'm _not_ worried about what will happen at sunset tonight…" he voiced finally, letting a yawn escape.

"I know you'll need to head to bed soon, but by the time you wake up we'll probably know exactly what we'll be doing."

"But what if it turns out like the last time we tried to surprise them? And they're ready for us?" Xander asked.

Willow shrugged a little. "This time they really don't know we're here, so there's no _way_ they'll know."

Tess knocked on the open door. She had a plastic grocery bag bulging with hospital-issue packages of blood for transfusion. "Doing better?" Tess asked.

"I will be, but I'm beat," Xander confessed.

Willow stood and made her way back towards the door. "I'll knock on your door at sunset, otherwise you have our word that we won't come near your room.."

Xander nodded a little. The last thing he wanted was for the magic to spontaneously stop working during the day and then have one of his friends wander in thinking they were safe.

Tess handed him the bag. "Have a nice day."

Xander picked out one of the packages and then began to unload the rest into the room's mini-refrigerator. "You, too."

Tess and Willow both left.

Xander closed the door to his refrigerator. He could tell the sun would be coming up very soon because he was beginning to feel groggier than he through he should. He picked up the package he's set aside and began the process of drinking it.

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Xander saw flashes of his horrible nightmares mixed with new images he couldn't ever remember seeing. There was a blond vampire scientist talking to him… Then he felt the burning sensation of some other injection… Suddenly he was outside again, running, when he was tackled to the grass and dragged to his feet. He was in the cell again, chained to the wall and feeling pain everywhere. The images were much blurrier now. He had a glimpse of Willow and Buffy, then it was gone into the dark. When the world returned, there was another girl, around twenty years old, sitting on the floor in front of him in the padded cell, screaming. Everything went dark again. He saw a few flashes of light, felt a pain in his chest, then he hit the ground hard… Again, everything went dark.

Finding it hard to breathe, Xander woke up quickly. He was on his back and everything was spinning. His hands were resting against the cold stone floor and he wondered how he'd gotten there since he'd been in the hotel room when he'd gone to bed. When he opened his eyes he saw the last thing he'd expected: Buffy's foot was pressed against his throat to pin him to the floor and she held a sword in one hand, ready to strike. Xander's eyes became wide with shock. He didn't know how he'd gotten there or why it seemed that Buffy was ready to kill him. He tried to speak, but she was pressing too hard. His eyes darted frantically to the other people in the room.

Willow was standing a few paces back, with a wooden stake in her one hand and a stack of papers held tightly in the other. She had shocked expression on her face. Dawn and Tess were on either side of her, both holding crosses and stakes of their own.

Spike came rushing into the room from a door at the far side. "Best get on with it before the re-enforcements show up."

Buffy raised the sword higher, but hesitated again.

"If they're as fast as last time, we have about three minutes before they get to this part of the building," Spike urged. "After what they did to him he's better off dead. He's already tried to kill us twice, and none of us are strong enough to keep him under control until we can find some of the cure."

Xander tried again to speak, but it was no use. He grabbed onto her foot and hoped to push it away so he could stand up and talk to them.

Buffy was thrown violently into the wall by Xander's thrust.

He was shocked by his strength but scrambled to his feet and pressed himself against the wall, coughing as he tried to catch his breath again. "What the Hell is going on here!? Why are you…?"

Buffy was on her feet with the sword poised faster than Xander guessed she'd be.

He held up his hands to show he was defenseless. "Can you just wait a sec and at least _tell _me why you're about to cut me into little pieces?" His mouth was so dry from fear that his lips were getting caught up on his teeth.

Buffy paused.

"Buffy," Spike began to scold. "He's not Xander anymore."

"_What_ are you talking about?!" Xander demanded more loudly.

Buffy kept her eyes on Xander but spoke to the others. "He wasn't talking before."

"If it's not just a trick, it might only be temporary," Tess warned.

"Would someone just tell me what's going on?" Xander begged. Everything was a blur. The last thing he remembered clearly was being in the hospital and Willow using her magic to change how he looked. He remembered parts about the flight, and getting to the hotel, but everything after that was no clearer than what he'd just seen in his dreams. With his hands raised, he noticed his claws and pale skin had returned. He took a moment to stare at his hands.

"Xander?" Willow began. "Is this really you?"

"What happened to me?" Xander asked in amazement, looking back to his friends.

"They're coming," Spike warned. He looked to Xander, examining him for a moment before looking back to Buffy. "His heart's beating again, and from how fast it's going I'd say he really _is _scared."

"At least that's a good sign," Buffy said quietly as she lowered the blade.

Spike looked to Xander again. "Try to calm down a bit before you pass out or something. Follow us out'a here and we'll talk to you when we have a little more time."

Xander nodded a little in a daze, finally dropping his hands.

A vampire came through the door Spike had entered from.

With one swing of her blade, Buffy had turned it to dust. "This way," she said quickly to the others as she headed for the only other exit.

They followed a long, winding hall to another door, and emerged into a poorly-lit parking lot. No other vampires followed as they ran down the street and zigzagged down alleys.

After a few minutes, they stopped by some lamp-lit benches to rest. They were at the edge of a college campus that had been made out of the old warehouses.

Everyone was panting when they stopped, but Buffy was circling the perimeter of the light, ready to protect the group in case any vampires were tracking them.

"What happened to me?" Xander asked. "How did I get back with Bernard and Joseph?"

Willow sat down on the bench and Dawn joined her. Willow handed Dawn part of the stack of papers she still had in her arms. "It wasn't Bernard and Joseph," Willow said, finally. She flipped through the papers for a second and drew out one of the sheets. "It was still _The Blitz_, but this time it was a woman named Melanie."

Xander sighed and leaned his back against the fairly dim lamp. He was feeling dizzy and his lips were cracking from thirst. When he licked his lips he still felt sharp points to his teeth.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Buffy asked casually, still looking into the darkened paths to see if anyone was nearby.

"It's kind of a jumble… We got to the hotel," Xander said confidently. "I had something to drink and then I went to bed," he explained, still terrified and confused.

"And how do you feel?" Spike continued.

"Better than usual considering I feel weak, dizzy, and tired," Xander admitted. He liked his dry lips again. "I just mean I'm thirsty, but feel like it's easier for me to control myself." He looked at his claws again. "How'd the spell get broken? And How long have I been there?"

"W-We're not sure how it was broken, or really what happened when you got there," Dawn said slowly. "They took you sometime during the day. None of us heard anything strange, and we didn't know you were gone until sunset."

Xander rubbed his eyes, trying to take in all that Dawn was saying. The streetlight was staring to seem a little brighter than before as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

There was a moment of silence.

"That was six days ago," Willow added, still flipping through the papers.

Xander was shocked. His legs gave out and he slid down the pole to the wet grass.

"Xander," Buffy called, hurrying to his side. "Are you alright?"

One of his hands was shielding his eyes from the light. The light above him seemed to be getting brighter and everything was spinning.

"We need to get him back to the hotel," Buffy announced.

"He probably needs some blood," Spike added.

Xander didn't argue. He was just so shocked that he'd forgotten nearly a week in conditions that were probably the worst he'd ever experienced.

"My German's a little rusty, but it shouldn't be very long before I know what they were aiming for," Willow assured.

Buffy grabbed Xander by the arm and helped him to stand. "We want to help you. That's why we came here."

Xander let his hands drop to his side as he looked at Buffy. "From what I saw you were here to kill me."

She was a little startled. His eyes had changed to the solid red they'd been when they'd met him at the hotel after his first transformation.

He nodded a little bit. He could feel the canine teeth growing even longer in his mouth. _"_You'll need to tell me the rest when we're back at the hotel. Speaking of, we'd better switch hotels or something since they obviously know where we were staying."

"We already have," Tess said. "We've switched every night since they took you. This last one a little closer to the next town, but we've already been in all the available ones closer to the city."

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4:55 am South Hill Inn room 125

Buffy put the silver key the lock and pushed open the door. "We're right next door if you need anything," she began softly.

Xander nodded.

The ride back to the hotel had been completely silent. Spike had driven and Xander was alone in the front passenger seat. Buffy, Willow, Tess and Dawn were squeezed in the back. Willow, Tess, and Dawn still managed to use their flashlights to read the papers they'd stolen from the scientists. Buffy was holding the extra flashlight to give the papers even better light.

Buffy led the way into his room. "The sun won't be up for over an hour, so Spike is heading back out to get…"

"Yeah," Xander interrupted. His fingernails had become purely black, and he was feeling worse than ever. "Why was I there so long?"

Buffy made her way to the sofa near the window, turned on the lamp, and motioned for him to join her. She tossed his copy of the entry key onto the coffee table in front of her.

Xander collapsed onto the couch next to Buffy, his aching muscles appreciating the soft seat. "And why can't I remember?"

"Everyone in the other room is trying to figure that out and what's been happening to you since they took you. We tried to get you back just after sunrise on the first day, but this time Willow's magic didn't work. They were blocking it just like the last hospital had. Then we tried to break in next morning, and made it inside. They chased us out before we could find your room. We tried _again_ that night with a new plan, but it didn't work, then night before last with another. We finally made it to your room, and broke down the door. You weren't yourself, and we couldn't control you."

"Spike said I tried to kill you…?" Xander asked slowly. "Twice?"

Buffy nodded. "It was like you were asleep, so we didn't think we needed to be careful. When I got the door open you…well…" She wasn't sure how to tell him. "You attacked me and then went after Dawn. I got you off her pretty fast, but then you put up a really good fight. You were stronger and faster than I've ever seen you. Your eyes were sorta glazed over and you weren't talking no matter what we said."

"A-Are you all ok?" Xander asked frantically. He still didn't remember any of it, but was horrified by the thought of having hurt any of his friends.

"Bumps here and there but we're fine. I kept trying to talk to you, and the others pretty much stayed out of the way. The vampires came, so I had to throw you back into the room, and we left."

Xander thought a moment. "So tonight you came to just kill me?"

"We were going to try to save you, but if we couldn't, then yes, I was going to kill you." Buffy said sadly. "But it was just a last resort. When you started to slow down I got you on the floor. You shut your eyes for a second, but we weren't sure if it was a trick or not. When you opened your eyes again you looked like you were actually _awake_. That's why I didn't kill you when Spike came back. I just couldn't give up on you." She gave an uncomfortable laugh, realizing how mushy it sounded. "That's pretty much when you started talking again."

Xander nodded a little. He was a becoming distracted by what sounded like the bass from a stereo in the adjoining room. It took him a moment to realize that the sound was coming from Buffy, not the other room. He could hear her heart beating. He'd been under the spell for so many months that it was weird for him to be experiencing these things again.

"What's wrong?" she asked, noting his expression. "Aside from the obvious, I mean."

"_Just _the obvious," he answered simply, "and all that comes with it."

There was a soft knock at the door before it opened. Willow came inside with some papers. She looked as somber as ever.

"Find something?" Buffy asked as Willow joined them.

Now Xander was sure that he was hearing Buffy's heart because as Willow came closer he began to hear another low beat coming from Willow. He looked at the floor to keep focused more on her words than on what he was beginning to feel.

She swiveled the rolling desk chair to face them and explain what she'd found so far. "We've _sorta _figured out why you can't remember anything."

"Why just _sorta_?" Buffy asked.

"The scientists weren't completely sure which of their theories was right. There were three of them taking notes. One of them said that the naturally high levels of stress hormones, combined with the chemicals they gave you, prevented you brain from making your short-term memories into long-term memories. Another one thought it had to do with less activity in the frontal lobe. The last one thought that it was a combination of _both_." She could tell they weren't sure about that last part of the explanation. "The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that actually _thinks_ about actions rather than acting on instinct or impulse."

Understanding was a little more evident at this point.

She looked to Xander. "Now that all the levels are regulating themselves, you're starting to think the way your brain used to. The only thing is, now that everything they put in you is settling into your system, the changes they wanted to happen will really start."

"Have you found out _what_ changes yet?" Buffy asked.

Xander was glad she was asking the questions. He was feeling almost too weak to stay awake.

Willow shook her head. "Not yet. Besides, there's a discrepancy between that they all predict and what always seems to happen to the people they call their _patients_. It's like they're basing everything on trial and error instead of anything scientific."

"These vampires are probably the first ones outside of _The Initiative_ to look at the science of vampires," Xander commented softly. "Maybe there's not a lot to base it on." The light was starting to seem brighter, just as the light in the park had.

Willow nodded. "We still have nearly two hundred pages of their recent notes to translate and with all the abbreviations it'll take a while."

"How long?" Xander asked, finally looking up at Willow.

She shook her head. "Maybe by this afternoon we'll know more. It's been a while since I've done much science-talk, and Dawn and I aren't exactly fluent in German."

"Do you think there's any way to stop whatever's happening to me?" Xander pressed.

"Until we've translated it we don't really know what we have," Willow admitted. "And I don't have access to a any science labs or equipment, so even if there is any treatment mentioned in the paperwork it wouldn't be _me_ who mixes it up unless it's when we're back in Sunnydale."

"So we just have to let it run its course?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"And just _hope _that I don't become a soulless killer?" Xander added, just as shocked by Willow's passive approach.

"What do you want me to say?" Willow asked, feeling ganged-up on. "I won't know what's in all of these papers until they've been translated. Maybe I should go back to the other room and keep doing just that." She stood.

"Sorry," Buffy and Xander mutter at almost the same time.

Willow glanced at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand by the bed. It was already 5:30 am. "Spike should be back pretty soon."

Buffy stood, too. "I'll let you rest. When he gets back, we'll have him knock on your door."

Xander nodded a little. He was almost relieved they were leaving. They were almost to the door before he stood, too. "When Spike leaves I think I'll lay down for a while… But if you find anything important you can come right over."

They both nodded as they opened the door.

"And when you feel better we're _right_ next door in 123. Just knock and we'll let you in and tell you what we've found," Willow answered.

The girls went into the hall, closing his door.

Xander went to the curtains and closed them before turning off the light. His eyes felt so much better in the dark. He sat down on the couch and waited. His ears were ringing in the silence, but within a few seconds he could hear crying coming from the room next door; from the room Buffy and Willow had just gone into. Willow was sobbing, and Buffy and Dawn were both trying to calm her down. Xander tried to ignore the sound, but before 6 am there didn't seem to be much other audible activity in the hotel. Eventually he drifted off to sleep.

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Xander could smell something musty in front of his face, and he was now laying on his stomach. He was still tired and didn't want to get up; he didn't even want to open his eyes. The dreams he'd been having were like the ones before he saw Buffy standing over him, but he was still left wishing he didn't need to dream at all.

This time there was a blonde vampire women in lab coats talking to him about how they had found him, and that his friends would never see him again. A dull, tingling pain shot through his body as they gave him an injection. He was alone in the cell with his arms and legs tethered to the wall.

The next thing he knew, he was running down a bright, crowded sidewalk and his skin was stinging. When he rounded the corner, he hit the pavement hard, tackled by a group of people covered head-to-toe in a fire-resistant uniforms. The images after that became much blurrier as he dreamed.

He was back in the cell. There was a young blonde girl sitting across from him, but he couldn't really see her face. Then the girl was gone and door was open with Buffy and Willow staring at him from the hall. Everything went dark. He saw a few flashes of light, felt a pain in his chest, then felt the burning tingle of the sun on his skin.

He wasn't sure what happened next, but he guessed that was when he finally woke up.

Feeling a little stronger, and not in the mood for any more confused dreams, he finally opened his eyes and sat up. He wasn't in the hotel anymore. He was laying on a broken couch in a fairly large, empty room. It looked like he was inside a sort of old, warehouse. There were many windows, but they were all either boarded up or covered by long, dark, tattered lengths of cloth. The sun was still up, and rays of light were accented by the floating dust in the air.

Xander got up from the couch, frightened by his relocation.

Remembering his dream, he looked at his hands. His skin was as pale as it was when Buffy and Willow had left his room at the South Hill Inn, but his fingernails were a very human color and length. He licked his dry lips he couldn't feel the fangs, but he could taste the reminisce of human blood. Still looking at his hands, he tried to make himself shift into the more demonic form, the way he remembered doing it six months ago. As the room became brighter, his skin became even lighter and his fingernails lengthened and darkened. Bringing his tongue back to his teeth, he found several of his top and bottom teeth to be much sharper and longer than they had been.

Xander looked around the room for any sign of a mirror. There were a dozen shrunken, rotting boxes stacked in one corner, but aside from the couch there didn't seem to be anything useful left behind in this room.

Now that the shock of his new surroundings was wearing off, he noticed some clearly audible voices coming from outside the window, as well as idling engines.

He decided that the only way he could have gotten there from the hotel, and that the spell could have been so suddenly broken, was that the dreams he'd had were somehow real. He really didn't know if he was right, but he needed to call his friends to find out.

Blinking a few times, the room dimmed and the pointed teeth shrank. His head was hurting and he needed something to drink pretty soon. He walked over to a window covered with cloth, and pulled it back a little. It faced an alley, so no sunlight was coming in. He came closer to the sunless window and looked out to get his bearings.

He was back in the heart of a city, and about three floors up. There was a wide, busy street in front of the building to his right, and a fairly stable-looking fire escape connected just below the windowsill. There were two men at the mouth of the alley talking about motorcycles. They went through a door just outside the alley. Xander looked down towards the entrance and saw another biker-type come out. The etching on the door said "Hal's Motorcycle Repair."

The man who just left paused at the alley and took out his cell phone to check something on the screen. When he slipped it back into his coat pocket, it slid out again and landed, unnoticed in the planter beside him. The man walked back towards the entrance of the shop, but continued down the street.

_If I can get down there before that guy gets back, I can get back up here, use the phone, and drop it back down there when I've reached Buffy and the others_, Xander thought quickly to himself.

Xander leaned out the window, squinting in the light as he made sure no one was around. He stepped onto the fire escape, but the ambient light was almost too strong for him before he'd made it down the first ladder. His skin began to seer as he scrambled back up the ladder and through the window.

Frustrated, he closed the curtains again. It was less than 30 feet from him, but he couldn't get to it. He didn't stand a chance of making it into the motorcycle shop if he could barely stand the blue sky for a few seconds. Whatever happened to him when he was re-captured, they'd obviously given him an entirely new series of injections as well as something that was still blocking his memories.

He began to pace, trying to figure out what to do before the phone's owner returned. _There must be some string or something in those boxes that I could use to hook that phone_, he though, heading to the boxes to dig through what was left of them.

As he dug he found some rotten twine, broken glass, garbage, and then he spotted a shattered hand mirror in the never bottom on the box. When he reached for it, eagerly, it flew about a foot off the floor and into his outstretched hand.

Xander stood a moment, mesmerized. He went to the couch holding the mirror, then sat down. He'd somehow moved the mirror just by reaching for it.

He laid the mirror across from him at the far end of the couch. Just holding out his hand for the mirror, nothing happened. _I need that mirror_ he though to himself, still reaching for it. It moved a little. He focused again. _I really want to have that mirror._ It whizzed through the air and into his hand.

Dropping the mirror on the cushion, he went back to the window and slowly crept out onto the fire escape. He stretched his hand out towards the ground. _The phone_, he thought to himself. _I need to get the phone_.

The phone swiveled a little, but wasn't moving any closer.

"Come on," he muttered with clenched teeth. It was getting too warm for him.

It continued to spin a little, then it hovered a few inches from the ground before falling, motionless.

Xander pulled back through the window, frustrated. "It must be too heavy. That, or I'm too far away." He had another idea. He found the twine, straightened out the pieces, tied them together, and made a slipknot at the end.

His head was beginning to hurt as he went back to the fire escape with the string.

Lowering the string down slowly to the ground, he held out his hand and tried to move it towards the fallen phone. The string moved easily but inaccurately, almost like it was being blown by a breeze. For all Xander knew, maybe it was just the breeze doing it. After a few tries, the string found its way around the phone's antenna.

He smiled, happy, yet disturbed, that he'd managed to snag it. Focusing again, he tried to push the knot. He wasn't entirely sure how he was doing it, or if he was doing it right, but the knot slowly tightened.

Xander's vision began to blur as a sharp pain shot through his head. He lowered his hand and closed his eyes. It was definitely getting to warm out on the platform. Forcing his eyes to refocus, he grabbed the twine and slowly reeled the phone up, careful not to jar it lose.

After what felt like hours of steadily pulling the string, he grabbed the phone and pushed himself back into the dark room. He was exhausted and getting weaker by the moment.

Staggering over to the couch, he plopped down, still feeling strange.

He looked at the phone.

The battery was nearly dead.

"No wonder that guy was mad," he said aloud. "There's only a minute or two left in this thing."

He quickly punched in the numbers to Willow's cellular phone.

"Hello?" Willow answered. She didn't recognize the number, but she figured it could have been someone important.

"It's me," Xander said with a sigh. "I really have to stop making these sorts of phone calls."

"Xander?" Willow said in disbelief. "I-It's really you?"

"Yeah," Xander said simply. "What happened? The last thing I really remember was waiting for Spike at the South Hill Inn, and now I'm in some abandoned building."

"B-But that was over a month ago," she said dreamily. She came to her senses a little as she tried to clarify. "I mean, that hotel; it's been over a month since we stayed there."

Xander was dumfounded. "It pretty much goes without saying that they must have been messing me up more than before."

After several seconds of silence. Willow spoke again. "We translated the papers, but I'll need to see you before we really know what's happening. Do you know where you are? We've been trying to find you, but…"

"Did you guys find me once already?" Xander interrupted. "I thought it must have been just a dream, but I saw you standing in the doorway of the room they kept me in."

Willow wasn't sure how she should answer. "We made it inside once when they moved you to Colorado, but you were so wild that we couldn't let you out. After that they moved again, and we've been tracking them since. I got some paperwork from them then, so it might be easier to see what's happening to you now."

"I'm not really sure where I am right now," he muttered. "There's a motorcycle shop right next to the building I'm in. It's called _Hal's Motorcycle Repair_. My building is three stories tall; I'm on the top floor."

Willow grabbed a pencil off the hotel room's desk and wrote down the information. "Where are you calling from?"

"Someone dropped a cell phone by the shop and I…" He wasn't sure if he should bother getting into it on the phone. "…I grabbed it with some twine."

"So are you having a hard time with the sun or was the fire escape too broken to climb down?"

"The sun," he said quickly. "I could go out on the shady side of the building for a few seconds, but not too long."

"I asked about the phone because the area code is the same as ours. At least we're probably in the same city."

"Where exactly is that?"

"Not far from where they were. It's Spokane. That's in Washington on the other side of the mountains from Tacoma."

"Ah," he said absentmindedly. He'd never heard of the city. "And it's June?"

"July 12th, actually," Willow corrected, still making notes on the paper.

He thought he heard a noise from another floor of the building.

The phone beeped.

"The battery's almost dead," Xander said quickly. "Call me back if you need any other info. I'll be waiting on this floor for you guys to get here."

"Do you need anything?" Willow asked finally.

Xander licked his dry lips. "Yes."

Willow scribbled on the paper. "OK. We'll be there as soon as we can. Bye."

"Bye." Xander quickly ended the call. He could leave it on for probably close to an hour before the battery turned it off and at least one short call in it before it died.

Something made a _thud _a one floor below him.

Xander looked up quickly, putting the phone down on the couch.

There wasn't any stairs, but there was a large hole in the floor in the corner where the boards had rotted.

Xander walked quietly over to it, trying to make his approach less obvious. From where he was standing he couldn't see anything moving. He bent down, grabbing onto the broken boards and lowering himself to the floor below. He landed without so much as a board squeaking.

The windows on this floor were more securely boarded up so virtually no light was coming through. He scanned the room for any sign of where the sound came from. The one thing he could tell was that there was fresh human blood in that room.

For a moment, everything was a blur. He'd spotted a battered, bloody homeless girl trying to pull away boards from the window, and rushed over to her, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her so hard that she flew through the air and fell unconscious to the floor.

He blinked a few times, coming to his senses. He had no idea why he'd just done that. "Oh, God," he muttered, staring at the badly hurt girl.

She looked to be around 14 or 15 and, aside from the caked blood, was filthy with smears of dirt and dust.

For several seconds he just stared at her. All he'd wanted to do was go down to that floor and see where the sound had come from. He wasn't sure if he could trust himself to approach her without trying to hurt her again.

"Hey, are you OK?" he called to her.

Her heart was still beating so at least he hadn't broken her neck.

He took a slow step towards her. Catching the scent of her blood again he could feel the teeth growing in his mouth. He looked away. "Get a grip," he muttered to himself. "You need to help her." The teeth receded and dulled as he focused all his energy on his mission of mercy. He continued over to her, couching by her side to examine her injuries more closely.

She was wearing a thin, dirty blue shirt and a dark green hoody. Her arms rested at her side and her hands were streaked with the freshest blood. Her wrists were tangled with wire. It looked as though they had been tied, but that she had twisted and weakened the metal until it broke. She had a rag tied around her neck; it had probably been a gag. Her jeans were torn and her running shoes were worn and old. It took him a moment to notice the dried blood on her face, near her neck, because the gag had been covering the injury.

He pulled the gag a little to reveal the mark. She'd been bitten by someone...probably him.

Her eyes moved a little, then she rolled her head giving a moan.

"Are you alright?" Xander asked her quietly, still doing everything in his power to stay focused. He put his hand on her shoulder.

She opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling for a few seconds before her eyes fell on Xander. She immediately let out a strangled scream of terror, sitting up quickly and scrambling away.

"Wait," Xander said quickly, standing and following. "I don't remember what happened. I won't hurt you."

She crawled quickly until she reached the wall then she pressed her back against it. "S-Stay away from me," she sobbed. "Please don't kill me."

Xander stopped. He was getting very hungry now, and her freshly wounded wrists were still bleeding. He licked his dry lips. "Tell me what happened."

"_You_," she said simply, confused by how he was acting.

Xander sighed, backing away from her. It was getting harder to be around her. He hoped Willow were almost there. "So I'm the one who did that to you?" he asked, gesturing at his own neck.

She nodded a little. He hadn't said more than two words to her since he'd grabbed her off the streets the night before; just enough to make it clear that he'd kill her if she tried to get away. "What are you going to do to me now?" she asked, still terrified that he would really kill her. Her wrists were burning. The wire was cutting so deeply into her skin that she was sure it had hit the bone.

"I really don't remember doing this to you, but I want to help you now," he said honestly, backing away from her. What he really needed was to get away from her, for her own sake. "How are your wrists?"

She sniffed a little, trying to talk in spite of her tears. She lifted her hands and looked at them. "I-I can't really move my fingers," she whispered. "That's why I couldn't get the boards off the window."

He took a few calming breaths, and came back to her.

She recoiled. "What are you doing?"

"Doing what I can." He crouched beside her and untied the gag from around her neck. He tore the cloth into two pieces and gently took one of her hands. "I don't think I'm supposed to untie the wire, but I can try to stop the bleeding." He couldn't help but stare at the bloody hand for a moment before refocusing. He gently wrapped the cloth around the bloody wire and loosely tied it. Xander did the same thing again with the other hand before finally standing and backing away again.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked a little more bravely. "Why did you take me, bite me, tie me up, and then try to help me?"

Xander looked at his hand some of her blood was on it. There was no way he could have avoided getting some of it on himself as he treated her injury. Before he could stop himself, he licked the blood away. It was the worst thing he could have done; it just made him want more. He hurried back to the hole in the floor. "You need to wait here. I have some friends coming and they'll get here pretty soon. They can take you to the hospital."

"Where are you…?" she began.

He turned back to her quickly. "If I stay here I might hurt you again." Xander turned back to the hole and jumped up, landing easily on the next floor up.

Xander was sitting on the couch, his head aching again. With his focus on the girl earlier it was easier to ignore his own pain, but now that he was just keeping himself from running over to the hole and jumping down, the pain in his head had revealed itself again.

There was a rattling at the scaffolding.

Xander stood quickly, looking to the window. He went over and pulled the curtain back a little, trying not to be seen as he looked out.

"Xander?" Buffy called at a hissing whisper, still climbing up the ladder to his floor. She had a bag over her shoulder.

"Yeah," he called back to her, also trying to stay fairly quiet. He pulled the curtain back so she could step inside, but she waited on the landing, holding the bag out to Xander so he could grab it.

Xander took the bag, knowing what must be inside. He reached in and pulled out one of the four bags that were stuffed in it. With his sharpening teeth, he tore the corner and drank the whole bag.

Buffy held the curtain open a little to watch him. If he was going to behave at all like he had before, he'd need to have at least one package of blood in him before she'd feel alright about coming into the dark with him.

He dropped the empty package and tore into a second one. His head was still sore, but every swallow made him feel stronger. When he finished he dropped the other package and lowered the bag. "I think I can handle company now," he said to Buffy.

She stepped inside.

"So it's July? And I'm in Spokane, Washington?" Xander asked her.

She nodded. It was had to believe that he was back to being himself after so long. "And you don't remember anything that happened?"

"When I woke up I thought I'd just had a weird dream..." He hesitated. "Make that _nightmare_."

She nodded a little. "The car's around the corner but the sun will be down in about two hours. There's a blanket in the car if you're ready to go."

"There's a girl downstairs that needs to go to the hospital," Xander admitted. He motioned for her to follow him.

They jumped down to the floor below.

The girl was sitting where Xander had left her. She was much calmer than she had been.

"God, Xander what happened to her?" Buffy asked him as she went quickly over to the girl.

The bandages were soaked with blood.

"Her wrists were tied with wire and to get free it cut her," Xander answered. "She can't move her hands."

"Are you ok?" Buffy asked her.

She shook her head. "Dizzy," she said quietly. "And my hands feel cold."

Xander went over to her and lifted her into his arms. "I can get her as far as the window but I don't think i can handle the light." He felt much more in control than he had been the last time he was with her. He hoped he hadn't let his guard down too soon.

Buffy went over to the window and pulled the board off. The alley was still in the shade, but the light hurt his eyes as she pulled the board off and rested it against the wall. "Give her to me."

Xander rested the girl's feet on the floor and helped transfer her to Buffy.

Buffy helped the girl onto the landing. Buffy turned back to Xander. "Willow will be up in a minute. She wants to try something on you to see if she can help you remember what happened. We don't know exactly where they are, so if we can find out what you saw, we might be able to find them."

Xander nodded a little.

Buffy looked down. "It could be a little tricky getting her down. There's basically no ladder down to the ground level." She looked back to Xander. "If I get down there, can you lower her down to me?"

Without really thinking he calmly passed Buffy, stepped onto the landing, scooped the girl up into his arms and leapt down onto the pavement. The girl let out a squeal of fear, but he landed to softly that it was as though he had only taken a step on level ground.

"What are you doing?" Buffy demanded rather loudly from the fire escape. She lowered herself onto the escape's metal bars and dropped to the ground safely.

Xander let the girl to her feet and backed towards the wall where the motorcycle shop's overhang was making it darker. "I-I don't know," he said fearfully. That was at least the third time he hadn't been able to stop himself from doing something strange or violent.

Willow got out of the car. It was parked towards the other end of the alley, but faced towards Xander and the others. She'd been able to clearly see Xander jump from the fire escape.

The girl backed away from Xander, stopping beside Buffy.

"I-I've sorta been acting before thinking," Xander admitted, still against the wall. The sun was stinging his eyes.

Willow was within ear shot now. "But you haven't tried to hurt anyone?" she called from a distance.

"He grabbed me," the girl said. "When he caught me getting away he ran at me and knocked me out."

Xander nodded. "I heard a noise. When I went to check it out I spotted her and the next thing I knew I was by the window and she was across the room." Just as he said that he had another urge to act. He looked at the girl. "Come here for a second, I think I know how to help you after all."

Willow stopped beside the girl.

The girl looked at Willow, then at Buffy.

Buffy nodded a little. "We're here if anything happens."

The girl stepped closer to Xander.

"Give me your hands," he said, extending both of his towards her.

She held out her limp hands to him.

He took one of them in his, wrapping his hand around her bandage. His hand became warm.

"What are you doing," the girl demanded quickly.

Xander closed his eyes, concentrating. He wasn't sure how he was doing it, but...

"Owe!" the girl called, pulling away.

The bandage and wire had both melted away, revealing healthy, clean skin. The only strange part was a pink ring around her wrist where the wire had once been.

They all stared at the mark. The girl flexed her fingers. There was a still a little bit of pain.

Buffy looked at Xander. "How did you do that?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "But I think I can still make that one better and do it again for the other one." He extended his hands again.

The girl hesitated a little, still in shock. The last twenty-four hours had been the most unusual of her life. She finally have her hand back to Xander.

Xander took the hand the same way he had before.

It stung a little, but she endured it.

He let go.

There was no mark at all.

She quickly gave him her other hand.

Xander was starting to feel very weak, but he needed to help the girl. After all, it was his fault that she was injured in the first place. He placed one hand on the bandage and the other on her neck where the bite mark had been left.

It burned, but she knew he was really helping her.

Xander pulled away. He wasn't quite finished but the light combined with the energy he was using made him very dizzy.

"Are you ok?" Willow asked him.

As he shook his head, he collapsed.

Xander opened his eyes suddenly. He was alone in a darkened hotel room. There were two packages of blood on the counter at the foot of the bed. He went to them right away and drank them just as he had in the warehouse.

After placing the empty plastic in the trash, he went over to the heavily-curtained window and pulled it back a few inches to look outside. It was still light outside, so he closed them again and glanced at the clock. There was a piece of paper taped over it.

He went over to the clock and read the paper. Even with the room as dark as it was, it was easy from him to read the message.

"When you wake up, dial extension 3492."

He went over to the phone and dialed the number, not even bothering to turn on the light.

It rang.

"Hello?" Willow said.

"It's me. Where are you guys?" Xander asked. He looked around a moment and before she could answer he announced. "You're across the hall, Spike's next to your, and Buffy and Dawn are in the room next to mine."

Willow swallowed. She had been about to answer, but somehow he answered first. "How did you know?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted.

"W-Well," she began, a little unnerved by his knowledge. "Tess and Anya are out getting blood for you and Spike." She paused. "How are you feeling?"

"I _feel_ fine, but ever since I woke up I've been having a hard time keeping myself from doing some pretty crazy stuff."

"You mean like jumping out of that window with the girl?"

"Yeah. How is she?"

"She was fine after you healed her. We got you into the car and she didn't exactly need the hospital anymore so we let her leave."

"Is there anything you can do to help me stay more in control?"

Willow hesitated. "Meditation is the only thing I can really think of."

Xander was frustrated. "I wasn't exactly thinking of _meditation_. That won't help me. When I lose control my mind doesn't have a chance to tell my body _you shouldn't do that_."

Willow sighed. "I'll look." She understood he was under a lot of stress, so she didn't take his impatients too personally. "Has your memory come back?"

"No," Xander said sadly. "From what I _do_ remember I'm not sure I want to know everything else." He'd just had a drink, but suddenly felt a wave of dizziness."

"Well, the sun will be down in a few minutes. We can head back towards that building and see if anything jogs your memory," Willow suggested. "Dawn and I translated those papers I stole the last time we got you out. They're probably not all that helpful now, but the experiments this group was focusing on were a lot to do with behavior and the mind. The impulse issues are probably that _frontal lobe_ stull I told you about before but like I said I'll need to sit with you for a while and review my papers before I know anything for sure."

"I think I should probably be alone for a little while," he said, wiping his forehead. His chest was starting to hurt, and it was getting hard for him to breathe. "O-On second thought maybe you should..." He collapsed again.

Willow dropped the phone and ran for the door, quickly using he spare key to open Xander's door. She flipped on the light and rushed into the room.

Xander was crouched on the floor, his back to the door. "You shouldn't have even bothered looking for me. I don't want to change back." He stood and turned around. His teeth were long and his eyes were a solid silvery charcoal color. "I'm not sure how you found me," he hissed, "but if I ever see any of you again, I'll kill you." Without so much as a blink from Xander the balcony curtains shot open to show the twilight of the parking lot. He turned away from her and ran towards the window, jumping so he could smash through it.

Willow raised her hand as fast as she could and said, "_Hermes , ego precor vos. Permissum mihi semita him haud res qua is goes_" (Hermes, I beg you. Let me track him no matter where he goes). Her palm glowed red and as the last bit of Xander's torso passed through the window, a red handprint glowing briefly on his shoulder before fading.

For a moment Willow was very shocked. Xander hadn't broken the window when he leaped through it. Xander had passed _through _the window, leaving the glass with a few sparse cracks, like ice that had only just begun to melt. In stead of landing on the balcony, he passed right through the floor and railing, too. He finally landed on the pavement of the parking lot and sprinted away as a blur.

Willow paused a moment, startled and shaking a little. The sun was down, and Xander was acting like a rabid animal. After a quick sigh, she went over to the complementary map on the hotel desk and pressed her palm against it before bothering to unfold it. "Ostendo mihi," (show me) she said.

When she lifted her palm her handprint blazed on the paper for a moment, just as it had on Xander's shoulder, and then faded. She turned on the light and unfolded the state map so it showed a close-up of the city.

A shimmering red dot was slowly moving on the map. With the scale of the map taken into account, the dot was passing several city blocks in a matter of seconds.

Willow quickly folded the map again, taking it with her when he left to tell the others what had just happened.

------------------------------------

Xander opened his eyes, hearing the loud sound of a motorcycle engine revving somewhere outside. The ceiling of the building he was in was rotting wood and the whole room smelled of mold.

Looking around the room, he appeared to be in an abandoned warehouse and was laying on a rotting green couch. He sat up. His dreams had been so vivid that he was a little confused by where he could be. There was something about the windows that looked familiar. One of the windows wasn't covered very well, like several people had come in and out of the window recently. He squinted--it was very bright outside--and looked around the rest of the room. There was a cell phone by his foot.

He reached for it and realized that his fingernails were long and sharp. He was a little shocked. The last thing he remembered clearly was falling asleep in the hotel room after Buffy and the others had rescued him from the scientists. "I must not have been dreaming."

His nightmares had been fairly routine: he'd been recaptured by the scientists. The last part of his dream that he remembered was talking on the phone with Willow, and then there was some pain and he was running down a street. The sequence of events was blurrier after that, but he had a clear image of a dead girl's face; he'd never met the girl before, but he could see a face as clear as if she was sitting right there, strapped to the wooden chair.

He licked his dry lips at the thought of her, and knew he'd need something to drink. When he licked his lips he realized that his teeth were just as sharp as his fingernails, and it helped remind him that he really needed his friends.

Xander picked up the phone and turned it on. The phone said it was 10:48 am and there wasn't much battery left. _They must be looking for him by now_ he thought. He dialed Buffy's cell phone number.

-------------------------------------------------------


	3. Loss

-1"Xander?" Willow asked in a confused voice. "I didn't think you were going to call back so soon," she said.

"So soon?!" Xander demanded. "What are you talking about?"

The phone beeped.

"Yeah," Willow said calmly. "Well, I wasn't sure exactly when you'd call me, but…"

"My phone's dying," Xander interrupted. He looked around for a moment. "I'm in some kind of warehouse and…"

"We know where you are," she said, this time cutting _him _off. "I've been tracking you for the last 3 days. I've translated the papers, and the reason why _you_ don't know where you are is because of that the vampires did to you the last time you were captured."

Xander swallowed hard, a little shocked but wager to know.

"During the day the demons in you are weaker, so you behave like yourself… for he most part," she added quickly. "At night the demon in you takes over fully. From what I've seen your daytime half doesn't remember anything about the previous days or nights, but the nighttime half remembers the previous night but not the daylight hours… It's like multiple personalities in a person whose memory is really bad," Willow simplified. "That or you don't remember most days because you're always asleep after getting tired from the night's activities."

"Is there anything you can do for me?" Xander asked simply, a little overwhelmed by the detailed information to say anything else.

"Sort of but…"

The phone died.

Xander swore loudly, throwing the phone against the wall so hard that it practically disintegrated.

-----------------------------------------

11:15 am

Xander sat on the couch, still looking round the room. He'd tried to go out onto the fire escape, but the sun was hurting him too much to even make it to the next floor. Even if he made it out he wasn't sure what he was going to do.

There was the sound of someone on the fire escape… Two people… climbing slowly towards the floor he was staying on. Xander wasn't sure what he should do. Should he hide? Could it be cops coming about a trespasser? Or maybe some homeless people looking for a place to stay?

"Xander?" Buffy called before reaching the window.

Xander was relieved, albeit confused. From what Willow said, it didn't seem like there was anything she could do to help him.

"Let me go up first," Buffy whispered to Willow.

Willow nodded and waited on the lower landing for Buffy to give her the signal to come up.

Buffy got up to the window, smiling at him sadly. She turned away and reached into her satchel, pulling out a package of blood they'd had on hand for him a few days ago.

Before Xander had a chance to say anything he found himself standing in front of Buffy with his hand out to take the bag.

Buffy lost her balance a little and pulled back, catching her footing again on the metal. He'd moved that fast the other day, but, even though Willow explained that he could move even faster, she was still caught off guard. She tossed the bag to him.

His teeth and claws lengthened as he grabbed the bag, and started drinking the package, closing his eyes.

"Good to see you, too," she said sarcastically, crawling through the window and motioning for Willow to come up.

He finished the package and when he opened his eyes he looked like himself again, surprised by his actions. "Sorry about that," he muttered, tossing the bag away.

Willow crawled through the window, too, carrying same large bag she'd had Tess bring to the hospital before she did the glamour on him--it was her magical supply bag.

"So you're going to do a spell?" Xander asked.

She looked around the room a little before answering. The last time they'd picked him up from there she hadn't been inside, but from the map she'd been using to track him, this seemed to be the place he'd spent most of his time. Her eyes fell back on Xander. "We know Melanie's faction of the Blitz is leaving town tonight. I told you about your memory problems, and I have a spell that might allow you to remember what's been going on."

"If we can find out the last details about the building they're in, which you probably know without knowing," Buffy began, "then we'll know where they have the last of their antidote stored."

"What do you mean _last of their antidote_?" Xander asked.

"Hopefully it will integrate both of the personalities so that day and night you're as much like the old Xander as you are now," Willow continued, ignoring the question. "So tonight you can get us into the building using our abilities."

Xander held up his hand. "What do you mean the _last of their antidote_?"

Buffy and Willow hesitated.

Xander was getting frustrated and he didn't bother hiding it. "I'm not exactly great at the whole self-control thing right now, so just tell me."

"The last two nights you've attacked the vampire's facility," Buffy answered. "You went in and smashed a lot of what they had in their storage areas."

"What do you mean?" Xander demanded.

"According to the papers I stole the last time we were in their facility, they always keep a small stash of the stuff that reverses the transformations," Willow answered. "That's why you aren't like you were before… They reversed what they did to you, and then they did something else."

Xander was shocked. "But Bernard and Joseph said that they never used people twice; once they were changed back the patients were basically contaminated."

Willow shook her head. "Melanie's group doesn't do it that way. If they find a patient they think is interesting enough, they may use them 4 or 5 times before deciding that the buildup in their system might be contaminating their results. After that they purposefully give them a chemical mixture that will kill them."

"So you think I smashed up some of that cure when I was there?" Xander asked. "Why would I do that?"

"Before you left you said you didn't want to change back," Willow said simply. "And that was the night you attacked them. I could see where you went on my map and while they were distracted I tapped into the security cameras in that part of the hospital. We could get video and soft audio from the lab's camera."

"But we're not exactly sure how the other rooms on that floor are being used," Buffy added.

"…So you're going to do a spell that will let me remember the things I've done at night?" Xander asked for clarification.

Willow nodded a little, walking over to the couch.

Buffy followed. Willow had told her on the way what they were going to do in the spell, so she was ready to help Willow set up.

"B-But I think I've been killing people," Xander admitted, following slowly.

Willow and Buffy both nodded a little, paying attention to pulling the bowl and her pouches from the bag.

"Can't you just make it so from right now on I can be myself at night and during the day, so I won't have to remember what I did?" Xander suggested, sounding a little desperate. After all the nightmares he'd had from killing the girl back in December, he wasn't sure how he would cope with knowing the details of several subsequent slaughters.

Willow looked up from her work kindly. "It doesn't work that way."

Xander was very nervous about this plan.

Buffy looked up this time as Willow got down on the floor and began drawing chalk symbols on the floor. "It's either this or you wake up every day, _terrified_, wondering how you got to wherever you are, and ever night killing even more people."

Xander was feeling a little numb. He didn't seem to have a choice.

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End file.
